sacrifice yourself

[Edit: this was written on Tuesday]

I was ill yesterday (I'm not sure if it's flu but I feel like I've been beaten up, and have swallowed razor blades). Oh, that's a sore back and a sore throat to those of you who are less melodramatic about your ailments. Anyway, I was knackered, and went to bed early as I had a full day of workshops to deliver today.

Despite physically feeling like shit, head-wise I feel OK. I've been talking a lot more:

1. A couple of times recently I've found myself initiating mini-conversations (i.e. chatting) with colleagues.
   
2. I've been going for a walk during lunchtime. For anyone who isn't aware of just how fabulous walking around the block for 15mins makes you feel... start doing it now. Plus, this is the bizarre bit, I've been asking people if they want to come along with me. Twice it was the socially-challenged colleague who shares an office with me came (he hardly talks, so it was me doing all the talking). Another time my line-manager came with me.
   
3. I've walked home from the train station a couple of times with a bloke I know from the post-office. I quite enjoy these little chats and have sought him out.
   
4. Yesterday I sat next to someone on the train whom I know from work, and talked with them the whole way (well, OK, it's only 15mins... but I could have easily read my book instead).
   
5. I was invited to lunch by an attendee of this morning's workshop. She put me on the spot and asked me in a weird way... and before I knew I had committed myself. She is odd. As in like-a-teen-Christian-who-invites-you-to-a-party (which turns out to be a Bible reading) type of Odd. She is an American.
   
6. An academic who came to both workshops flirted with me all day. He is also an Amercian. It took me a while to work out that he was flirting (cos I am not used to it). He asked me twice where I was going for lunch. And twice I said "Probably to the women's toilets - I don't feel well.". Errgg, he was horrible. Had I had a lunchdate with him I probably would have indeed climbed out the toilet window. I hate people who talk about how much money they make. Spend it on some counselling, buddy.

I had another lavender bath last night. It was glorious. I floated off to sleep on a sublime bubble of lavender loveliness.