seven years in Tibet
The CBT session was very good. I talked at a hundred miles an hour and the counsellor fought me to get a word in edge-ways. However it's been an OK month, since I last saw her, all things considered - so what I conveyed to her was positive (despite my deathly dull holidays). My next appointment is in a fortnight and in the meantime I have the following tasks to do:
- continue to make complete Automatic Thought Records
- continue to keep diary of positive things which happened that day
- see C once a week (lunch), and another person* once a week
I am OK about seeing C once a week... the CBT knows that the seal has been broken and that weekly lunch with C is not going to be a struggle. What I mean by that is that she knows that for me 99% of the problem is seeing the person for the first time, once I've done that I'm sorta OK about seeing them again... as long as it is fairly soon. If it's left too long I go back to scratch. How the hell am I going to be able to do one extra social thing a week? Oh dear. I'll be fine, I'll be fine.
Oh, one thing I promised myself wrt the CBT counselling is that I would do what I was told to do. The logic behind my willingness to comply is that doing-things-my-way isn't working. The worst thing that could happen if I try something else is that this will also not work. I hate the tasks I have to do. But I do them all ne'rtheless.
posted by lodgerlow @ Friday, January 20, 2006
9 comments
9 Comments:
Hi not been around for a while but I too have CBT sometime in the next few months as the hospital is intent on given me the full works.
So if you have any other info on what to expect would be grateful as hate going into something completely in the dark.
SCM aka screemb
Hello and welcome back.
"as the hospital is intent on given me the full works."
Hospital? Have you become so bad you are in hospital? I hope not.
I'd like to make a post about CBT. I've been meaning to do this for ages. I have my next appointment next Friday, but I'd like to write something about it before then.
I like CBT a lot. I like it because it is so practical. Also the session itself is directional and has an objective. You don't just go in and talk about what you've done all week. In fact you are discouraged from doing that.
Hey, take care of yourself...
No i was referred to the hospital for physch appointments as got very bad last year and the dark thoughts were leading to suicidal thoughts. Thankfully was a bad few weeks only.
Will look out for the CBT post as it hits me sometime in the next few months as got to wait for an appointment.
I am holding on trying to remain calm which is difficult so hence the hospital checking every avenue to see what is wrong. As i do have some depression symptoms but others might not be so they are giving me the full works of treatment.
Only good thing i am getting out and about with camera to just be alone as me and other people right now is either touch fuse and step back or incoming angry scotsman keep back.
SCM aka screemb
I don't have time now to respond to this in the depth it deserves. I'm going to come back to it tomorrow.
SCM
"...and the dark thoughts were leading to suicidal thoughts."
Oh dear. That's not good. I've been there too, but I am too paranoid to have admitted it to my GP out of fear that I would be sectioned. I am encouraged that you had "appointments" and weren't locked up.
"Will look out for the CBT post..."
Today I am going to post about what my day yesterday was like. So tomorrow I'll post about CBT. Promise!
"I am holding on trying to remain calm which is difficult so hence the hospital checking every avenue to see what is wrong."
What were you like before this period of low mood? Would you have described yourself as moody, or over-sensitive, or angry... or pretty even mood-wise?
I have an over-sensitive (neurotic) personality which predisposes me to depression. My low mood was more like a nervous breakdown which dragged on and on. Your own low mood may be your mind's way of processing what has happened to you. If you aren't emotionally mature (I'm not) then you have poor self-talk... which makes your mood lower and the low mood last longer.
"... i am getting out and about with camera"
I've recently bought a camera (Nikon Coolpix 5600) and have started taking it with me. It's a good thing. You are developing a catalogue of your experiences.
i'm sorry to sound like a total ignoromous but what does CBT stand for?
I was never really that dark would have my ok bit unhappy at things days but they passed quickly.
Similar as an engineer always felt in control of things and could cope with stuff out of work as my job was that stressful leaving and dealing with everything else was ok.
I just think the bad 2 years i had with house fire, new job, then hospital and worrying if i would live due to a bad infection that almost got past my shoulder from my elbow, separation, stresful job and stressful house sale all caught up.
I think i basically overloaded from stress and my occasional dark short periods suddenly became the norm for me and it hit me fast and hard.
The problem now is i have a anger issue and i am struggling to control it. As this depression seems to have removed my normal ability to chill out.
Hopefully new drugs etc will help out once i adjust to them as they are at present hitting me hard.
screemb aka SCM
Do you know what, you sound exactly like me... and my friend C. I've always been a sensitive person, but because I was smart I was pretty good at staying sorted when things went wrong.
I bought my first flat, ended an ergggg relationship that I shouldn't have been in, because isolated by living out in the sticks, my friends abandoned me (cos I was out in the sticks), had a complete kick in the head from my brother (person I loved more than anyone), and had an utter bitch new colleague whom I sat alone and directly opposite for 16months.
My friend C had trouble at work with a weird weird clingy boss, bought a house, and was trying to do 2 masters courses.
I became angry as fvck too... it's a self-defense thing.
I really really really think CBT is going to work for you. You don't sound like your brain is messed up... but your thinking is. I think you'll hate it initially (I did) but if you just do as you are told... it'll help you.
Heres hoping it does :) but i have a long wait to the appointment as another 2 month waiting list for this as well. 2 months waiting list is becoming a familiar reply from my local hospital departments for the pysch section.
screemb aka SCM
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